Happiness and Hell

I was going to be a lawyer.  I knew it since I was in the single digits.  I worked my ass off to get into a great school, and did.  I traded the initiations associated with college life for the hard work necessary to get into a good law school, and could have; had I not realized something very important about myself.

 

I had a ton of odd jobs as an undergraduate.  Some were fun, some disasterous, but none so rewarding as teaching.  I fell in love.  Sharing what I knew to help others find voice in their writing made me happier than any other job I'd ever had... and I had some amazing experiences! 

 

I traded Law School applications for Graduate School applications, and got in to an English program right away.  Before the year let out, I had my first teaching job at a boarding school where I happily taught and coached for four years, and moved a few hours north and into the public school relm where my career took off.

 

I was on top of the world, doing what I loved, publishing in the field, speaking at national conventions, and leading a fulfilling personal life for the next five or so years.  While the personal life fell apart, there was a change in administration.  To keep it short, I no longer think of my beloved classroom when I think of teaching.  

 

To make a healthy re-start, I listed what I loved:

• My children
• Writing
• Photography
• Being Outdoors
• Gardening

During my unemployment, I realized my applications/resumes/phone-calls wouldn't get responded to any faster if I stared at my inbox, waiting.  I swallowed the guilt, and did something that would help me feel valued again.

 

I volunteered in my children's classroom and gardening program, and started my own writing business. 

 

Then I took on an office job.

 

This is when I realized that I need an interactive component on a daily basis.  The walls of my cubicle don't talk back, and in spite of working with the three nicest women on the planet, I'm in hell.

 

This got me wondering, do most people actually just settle for more than forty hours of their waking lives, never to consider their own happiness?  

 

I was taught to do what makes me happy.  I'm still building my business, and although I'm not sure how else my happiness translates to the working world anymore, I'm sure as hell going to try.