As one reaping the benefits of overhearing managerial complaints about
recent interviews, I'm learning ample information that my mother (a stay-at
home woman who wore make-up to bed and heels to the grocery store) never told
me.
1. Don't wear perfume to an interview
2. Don't chat up the interviewer/ extend the interview for more than a half
hour
3. Don't tell them how much money you used to make
4. Don't try to impress them
5. Don't tell them you've been unemployed for any length of time
Here's the breakdown:
1. Even if you smell badly, it will stink more if your potential manager
can't concentrate on what you have to say because s/he is too overwhelmed with
a stuffed head and runny eyes because you want to smell expensive. This also
applies to smoking in your car before an interview, but I'm a biased non-smoker
and thought that was obvious.
2. You are one potential candidate seeking employment. You may be charming,
funny, and personable, but that is information best kept after sitting around
and figuring out who you're working with. An employer wants you to answer the
questions, explain any gaps on your resume, and find out if you are some kind
of freak-show or not. If you're a nervous chatter, just shut the fuck up.
Practice doing so with a spouse or loved one when in a heated discussion you
have a lot to say about.
3. Omit the fact that you've made two to ten times the amount of what you
are willing to work for. Employers will freak out if they think you expect them
to pay you what you're really worth. You're back at the bottom of the picking
order. At this point, you're probably applying to a job outside of your field.
They're not going to pay you more than they pay their own manager, and definitely
not more than they pay their CEO.
4. First impressions are important. Outwardly. Verbally impressing someone
can cost you a job. If you make it to the interview, remember to shut the fuck
up. They're looking for someone to complete a task. Get the job to do that
task, THEN work your way up. You are only being interviewed for the ONE
position. Your prior success and skill-set could make you a threat to the
individual interviewing you in that you may be more qualified than they are for
a position sought by them internally.
5. Not having worked for any length of time looks like you don't want
to/aren't willing to work. The easiest solution to this interviewing faux-pas
is to hold a magnet to your head. Ignorance is bliss, so it's best to forget
about who you were professionally. You need a job to feed your family, so none
of that matters in the interim. Erase it. Try to get your
real-estate/health-insurance/life-insurance etc. license, even if it's not what
you want to do so you can at least say you were trying to do
something. Not being good in Sales, or even failing to pass a test, -looks far
better on a resume than a huge, gaping job hiatus of several months to a year.
You're not alone in an economy that makes you financially worth less after
ten years of experience and several years of education than you were as a
teenager. Best of luck.
Sincerely,
Amanda K.
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